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<1> | l o s e yourself

[27 Feb 2005|01:01am]
[ mood | calm ]

I'm going to have this buried with me when I die. <333

l o s e yourself

[14 Feb 2005|12:00am]
[ mood | curious ]


Oh dear. Hmm.

<2> | l o s e yourself

[01 Feb 2005|02:26am]
[ mood | lost and confused. ]

I just spent two hours staring at a wall.

Something strikes me as being wrong with that, but I just couldn't stand the thought of doing anything else.

On another note, I need something to keep me occupied. I don't get near enough company anymore as it is, despite the other occupants of the house. I think I'm going to buy a litter of puppies and let them chew on things.

Edit: Shinya, you are out of ice cream. Buy some more tomorrow. Put a sticky-note on your forehead so you don't forget.

Thank you.


<3> | l o s e yourself

[12 Jan 2005|01:47pm]
[ mood | . . . ]

A web of lies suspended on silver wings, drowning out the memories painted in sepia tones.

I don't...

Where's the fun in being blind? Heightened senses do nothing to aid in fixing that which can't be seen.

Like this...

There is no storybook, fairy-tale ending. There is no distinction between truth and lies, reality and fantasy. There is only what we know: what we see, hear, breathe, live.

Is it possible to alter the very thing you live for without throwing yourself into the eager, greedy hands of your memories? Of your past?


It's just two of us now. Do you even remember our names? Our faces? Do you hear our voices when you close your eyes? No. Of course not. We were never that important to you anyway. I, who lived for you, was never that important.

But it's just two of us now: the tainted angel and tattered saviour. You have no place here anymore, Deceiver. You, who I love so deeply, who I tried so hard for. The more time that passes, the more I realize what I've been so blind to all along.

You've already let me go.

You don't need to lie anymore. Promises will be ignored; you've never kept them, anyway. Why use such strong words when they mean nothing to you? Both on the giving and receiving end, you're nothing more than a lost, heartless, black-winged angel with nothing but an intricate web of stained silk thread to offer. What once was revered as perfect is now nothing more than the shattered image.

Where are you, Ghost?

Who will piece you back together when the one thing you need most desperately is someone to pull you from the cold, dark sea? It's only as deep as you let it be; that endless void in your mind. The memories on as vivid, the senses only as sharp, the desires only as strong, the emotions only as felt as you let them be.

I hope one day you might find someone that looks up to you and loves you as much as I once did.

I'll let you go.

As much as it pains me to do so, I'll let you go.

It's okay. I think you want it that way.

<4> | l o s e yourself

[20 Dec 2004|03:37am]
[ mood | ... ]

It's... depressing...

I wanted to spend his birthday with him.

l o s e yourself

[18 Dec 2004|10:21am]
[ mood | depressed ]

I want to go home.

l o s e yourself

[10 Dec 2004|04:41pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

Well, I suppose that didn't go as planned. "Mother, do you think you can help me dye my bangs pink?" "Of course," she says... and then proceeds to get adventurous and put pink highlights in the rest of my hair, as well. Oh dear. It doesn't look too bad -- in fact, it is rather cute, but I didn't want pink highlights.

Mother is currently gushing over how adorable Miyu is in the Santa Claus outfit she got her. Sometimes I wonder if she really is all "there," but I can't blame her. I dress Miyu up, after all; I just don't sit there for fifteen minutes with wide eyes and a childish grin, giggling about how "cute" it is.

Oh, laptop, how I love thee.

l o s e yourself

[08 Dec 2004|07:39pm]
[ mood | bored ]

I'm going on vacation for a few weeks, to visit my parents. It's been a while since I've seen them, anyway.

l o s e yourself

[29 Oct 2004|04:01pm]
[ mood | amused ]

I had forgotten the password for this thing. Luckily I remembered it while looking at something else.

Well. At least things are somewhat normal. Boring, but normal, nonetheless.

Also, I find it amusing how everyone is so entirely lazy when it comes to these things. I'm going to start updating mine at least once a week -- what's the point of having one if you don't update it?

l o s e yourself

[27 Oct 2004|10:47am]
[ mood | dorky ]


I forgot what I wanted to write.


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